Clarence the Cow
Issue #3
by Tom Zjaba
Chapter Three
The Trial
"What the hell were you thinking?" Judge Preston screams over
the phone. Bettie Lee has it on speakerphone and is smiling. She knew her news
story would raise his cackles. "Do you have any idea how much trouble you're
causing with that asinine stunt of yours?" Betty Lee laughs as she answer back
"You had your chance to hear the case, but you refused. You left me no choice."
There is a moment of silence as she can feel him seething. "Well, you will have
your day in court. The governor himself called me and made sure of it. I just
hope you are ready for the spotlight, Ms. Williams because it will be shining
down on you and that infernal farm animal." He then slams down the phone. Bettie
Lee screams out in delight. "That will teach the old coot to mess with me." she
laughs as she raises her cup of coffee. She now has to get ready for the court
case. It is Friday and the opening statements will be on Monday. She knows that
they are deliberately speeding up the process to force her hand. She would
normally ask for a delay, but she knows it would be denied. She has two days to
get ready for the trial of her life.
Down at the police station, there are a dozen camera crews
waiting outside. All the major stations are represented as well as a few of the
cable and local stations. Zeke is looking out the window at the circus and
shaking his head. "There goes our peaceful little town." he says as he closes
the curtains in disgust. They are all waiting out there to get footage of
Clarence the Cow. The news of a talking cow has spread quickly and now every
major news company has a crew out here. Reporters are talking to any unfortunate
soul who walks past them. They want to get any story they can. As Betty Lee
starts down the street, she sees the mob outside the police station and smiles.
She wants to get in and talk to Clarence some more. She needs more information
for the case and now Zeke cannot deny her. As she walks through the crowd of
reporters, one of them yells out "That's the cow's lawyer." Suddenly a dozen
microphones are shoved in her face. The questions come like a rainstorm. She is
overwhelmed with the influx of questions. "When is the trial?" "Exactly what is
your client charged with?" "Is he the only talking cow or are there more?" "Are
you two romantically involved?" She pushes her way past them and gets to the top
of the stairs. She then turns around and faces the crowd. She looks at the sea
of faces and takes a deep breath. She then begins to speak "I will make a brief
statement. My name is Betty Lee Williams and yes, I am Clarence the Cow's
attorney. His court date is this Monday at 9:00 AM. We will then find out what
his charges are and fight for his freedom. That is all I will say right now.
Thanks." She then turns and opens the door. The flash of the cameras and all the
questions follow her into the police station. Zeke stops the reporters from
entering and pushes the door shut. Inside she tries to regain her composure.
"Word sure travels fast." she says as she smiles at him. He is not so happy and
the sour look on his face sends that message. "There aren't enough dates in the
world to make up for this." he says as he scowls at her. She knows his day has
been rough and really does feel bad for him. He stayed in this town to get away
from scenes like this. He likes it nice and quiet. "Things will get better, I
promise." she says with an I'm sorry smile. He walks over to his desk, picks up
a stack of papers and mumbles "I doubt it. Nothing will ever be the same again."
She then meekly says "I need to see my client." He glares at her with a look
that could kill. She does not back down from the look as she knows that he is
just frustrated. Knowing that he has to allow her access, he calls to his
deputy. "Can you please escort Ms. Williams to see her client?" He sits down and
starts working on paperwork, avoiding eye contact. She comes over to the desk
and says "You may not believe it, but I really am sorry." He ignores her and
keeps shuffling his paperwork. Knowing that she isn't going to get a reply, she
just leaves, following the deputy. But instead of going behind the building,
they are going into the actual jail. With all the publicity, they had to bring
Clarence in from the pens in the back and put him in an actual cell.
Clarence is sitting on a metal bench they brought from the
park. He requested something to sit on and after breaking a few folding chairs,
they finally went out and brought back a park bench. This one has been there for
decades and is solid as they come. Even Clarence with his ton of weight cannot
break this. He is reading a magazine that the deputy brought him. Now that he is
a star prisoner and not just a farm animal, he is getting better treatment. He
is also getting better food to eat. Gone is the pile of hay. He now has a large
bowl of grains. "Hello Betty Lee!" he says as he sees her come in. "How are you
doing Clarence?" she asks him as she pulls up a stool and sits down outside his
cell. "Now that I have lots of magazines to read, I am doing well." he says as
he puts down the magazine and looks at her. "In case you haven't heard, we have
a court date for this Monday." Clarence looks at her with a puzzled look. "Is
this good?" She smiles at him and says "It's great! We will go before a judge
and hopefully win your freedom." Clarence is still puzzled. All this is new to
him. "What is freedom and how do you win it?" She laughs at the question as she
has never heard it asked like that. "Freedom is having the ability to make your
own choices. You can go where you want, eat what you want, do what you want,
within reason. That is freedom." Clarence looks at her and says "How do you lose
your freedom?" She gets a little more serious now. "When a person commits a
crime, they go to a jail like this and lose their freedom." Clarence is trying
to figure this out and how it pertains to him. "What is a crime?" he asks with a
serious tone in his voice. She looks him in the eye and says "Killing another
person or stealing are two of the more serious crimes. There are allot of
different crimes, which vary in degree of severity." He then looks at her with a
sad look in his eyes and asks "What crime did I commit?" She knew this was
coming. This is the hard part as she really does not know. No one would tell her
what he was being charged with, if anything. "From what I can tell, you have not
been charged with committing any crime." Clarence gets an odd look on his face.
It is one part bewilderment and one part anger. "So I lost my freedom for
nothing? Is that allowed?" She takes another deep breath. She can feel the
frustration in his voice and while he seems like a gentle creature, he is still
a bull. The last thing she wants to do is anger him and give them any ammo for
the court case. She needs him to stay calm. "It is not allowed and that is why
we are going to court. We need to prove to the judge that you lost your freedom
unjustly." Clarence looks down at the floor. He hates being in this cell. He is
happy to have magazines to read, but he longs to be able to walk around. But as
he thinks about his former life, he realizes he wasn't free then either. There
was always a fence to keep him from leaving. He had no choice in food, he ate
what he was given. But at least he had a giant field to wander in. There was a
large barn to sleep in at night. There were many cows to mate with. Things were
pretty good, especially compared to here.
The court room is a buzz with excitement. Every single seat
is taken and there is a row of people standing along the back, including many
camera men. The courtroom in Peterson has never been this full. Most of the
time, there are few people in it. The crime rate is pretty low in Peterson. Most
of the cases are either divorces or people trying to keep from losing their
farm. This is the first time that anyone outside of the city really cared about
a case. Betty Lee is sitting in the front with Clarence. She wanted to get him a
suit, but there was no time for a custom made suit. She felt that a suit would
make him appear more civilized. It would go a long way towards proving he is
more than a freak of nature. But the tailor said it would take at least a week
to make a suit that large. It's not every day that a tailor is asked to make a
suit for a bull. She did put a tie around his neck. While it is a normal sized
tie, it looks out of place around his very large neck. She can also see that it
is uncomfortable for him, but she feels it will help. She opens her briefcase
and takes out her notes. She places them in front of her. She did not have allot
of time to prepare her case, but she feels she is as ready as possible. She
takes one last look through her notes and makes a sign of the cross. Clarence
looks at her and smiles. He also keeps looking behind him at all the people.
There are a few children in the crowd who keep waving to him. He waves back at
them which brings a smile to their faces. He sees the young boy from the library
here with his mother. He makes sure to wave to him.
Excitement rushes through the air as Judge Preston walks into
the room. The bailiff shouts out "All rise for the honorable Judge Preston."
Everyone rises to their feet, including Clarence. The judge does a double take
as he sees the bull standing on two feet. He has lived his entire life on a farm
and has never seen a cow walk on two legs. He has seen many horse who were
taught to rear up on two legs. He could even get a sheep to rise on two legs if
he had a bottle of milk for them. But he never saw a cow standing on two legs.
While he has been briefed about Clarence the Cow, this is the first that he has
seen him. "Please be seated." he says as he sits down. The bailiff then hands
him a docket and says "The City of Peterson vs. Clarence the Cow." The judge
takes the docket and looks through it. He then turns to the attorneys for the
city and says "Are you ready?" One of three attorneys stands up and says "Yes,
your honor, we are ready to call our first witness." Before he can go any
further, Betty Lee interrupts "Excuse me your honor." He turns to her and says
"What is it you want Ms. Williams?" She looks at him and says "I have not been
informed of what my client has been charged with." He looks at the docket and
then looks at her "Are you telling me that no one has informed you what charges
have been brought against your client?" She keeps her gaze as he darn well knows
she has no idea. He never returned her calls and the police department was no
help. Until a half hour ago, she did not even know she was going against the law
firm of Parsons and Associates, one of the most successful and powerful law
firms in the state. While she had to work tirelessly by herself to prepare for
this, they had a staff of over a hundred people to help prepare the case. The
judge then motions to the bailiff to come over. "Give this to Ms. Williams." he
says as he hands the docket to him. He walks over and hands it to her. She
quickly reads through it to get a basic idea. As she looks through it, she
notices that he is being charged with disturbing the peace, disorderly conduct
and being a public hazard. She laughs at the charges and hands the docket back
to the bailiff. "Thank you, your honor." He then looks at her and says "In the
future Ms. Williams, will you please come to court prepared." She knows he is
doing this to provoke her. He wants her to retaliate so he can charge her with
contempt of court. But she is too smart for his tactics. She just bites her lip.
The prosecutors call their first witness. As expected, they
call Sheriff Zeke Taylor to the stand. Zeke rises and walks over to the stand
and puts his hand on the bible. He takes the oath and then sits down. As
expected, he is wearing his police uniform. He is rarely seen without it on.
With a small police force, he can be called in anytime, so he finds it is easier
to just keep it on. Betty Lee found this out when she went out on a date with
him. He came to pick her up in uniform and in the squad car. Maybe it is just
her, but she found it not very romantic to be riding around in a squad car.
People look at you funny. One of the prosecuting attorneys walks up to Zeke and
says "Sheriff Taylor, please tell the court about your first encounter with the
defendant." Zeke looks around the court room and sees the cameras going. He
gulps as he thinks about how many people are watching this. He really wishes he
took the time to get a hair cut. He wonders if he will stumble over his words.
He was never good at public speaking, one of the reasons he remained in a small
town. The biggest crowd he ever has to get up in front is at the high school on
career day. And that is never more than fifty students. But here is a hundred
plus people packed into this court room and a dozen cameras taping him. "I
received a call about a disturbance at the public library. I was told a farm
animal was loose in the library and scaring the patrons. So Deputy Morton and
myself went down to retrieve the animal." The attorney cuts in with a question
"Have you been called to retrieve farm animals that have strayed in the city
before?" Perspiration is beginning to build on his forehead. He is not used to
this kind of pressure. "Yeah, I have been called in to capture loose farm
animals before." The attorney then asks another question "So this was not
anything out of the ordinary for you." Zeke looks out in the crowd. After a few
seconds of scanning the crowd, he replies "No sir." he says as he tries to keep
his answers short. The attorney then returns to his original questioning and
asks "So tell me what happened when you arrived at the library." He thinks for a
second about it. With so much going on in the last few days, he wants to make
sure he keeps his story straight. "We arrived at the library and found a large
crowd gathered around the defendant." The attorney cuts in and asks "Was there
anything that made you compelled to take the defendant into custody?" Zeke
swallows hard as he looks at the cameras that are rolling. "When we entered the
library, there were several people screaming. We were asked to remove the animal
from the library as he scared numerous people, including some children." The
attorney looks at the rest of his team and they give him a look of approval. He
then continues with the questioning. "Did the defendant resist the arrest in any
manner or give you any reason to believe he was dangerous?" The sheriff looks at
the attorney who is a middle aged man with a slicked back hair style, power suit
and a gaze that pierces. "No, he came along without any problems." The attorney
quickly asks "Did he give you any indication that he was dangerous?" The sheriff
swallows hard as saliva builds in his throat. "Only his appearance made us feel
he may be dangerous." The attorney looks right at him and asks "His appearance.
Could you please elaborate?" The sheriff looks over at Clarence, who does not
look so menacing now. "The size of the animal, the horns. Bulls are
unpredictable animals and known for their nasty tempers, so we were concerned."
The attorney realizes that things are not going as well as he hoped. He was
hoping for a more convincing testimony from his star witness. So he decides to
try and build on the last statement. "Mr. Taylor, have you had experiences in
the past with dangerous bulls?" The sheriff loosens his collar as he feels it
tightening around his neck. He looks at Betty Lee who is busy writing down some
notes. He knows she is coming next and her questions will be tougher than these.
"I was called out once to rescue some boys from a tree. They wandered into a
field with a bull and were chased up a tree. It would not let them down and we
had to tranquilize the animal." The attorney keeps his questions coming as he
asks "So it is your professional opinion that bulls can be dangerous animals?"
The sheriff quickly answer "Yes." The attorney quickly asks another question
"And you were acting in the best interest to keep the situation from turning
deadly, correct?" The sheriff once again responds "Yes." The attorney then says
"I have no further questions."
Betty Lee looks through the notes she just wrote down. As she
is looking through them, the judge calls her up. "Ms. Williams, would you like
to examine the witness?" She quickly reads through her notes and stands up and
answer "Yes, your honor." She knows she is being rushed along, but she thinks
she is ready. She walks up to the sheriff and asks "Mr. Taylor, may I ask you
about the charges brought against my client." He squirms a bit as he knows the
questioning is about to get much harder. She then continues "I read the report
and I see that my client is being charged with disturbing the peace, disorderly
conduct and being a public hazard. Is this correct?" He really starts to sweat
now. He has an idea where she is going but there is nothing he can do about it.
"Yes, that's correct." he responds. She then turns to the crowd and looks over
the crowd. "Who came up with these charges?" Once she finishes the question, she
turns and looks right at him. He shrinks a bit in his chair "I did." is all he
says. She then turns around and looks out into the crowd again. "I can
understand the public hazard charge, but can you please explain your reasoning
for disturbing the peace and disorderly conduct?" She then turns and faces him
again. She crosses her arms as she stares at him. He pulls at his collar again
and wipes the sweat off his brow. He knows that she has him where she wants him.
"Well, the disturbing the peace was in response to the commotion he caused. And
the disorderly conduct was due to having a bull in the library." Betty Lee looks
over at the other attorneys and smiles. She knows they were not ready for this.
They probably took her lightly as she was a small town attorney and they were a
large firm. "Let us start with the disturbing the peace. You say that when you
came into the library, there was screaming and a crowd gathered around my
client, correct?" She looks at the sheriff and waits for his answer. He meekly
says "Yes." She then goes into the next part of her questioning. "In this
commotion, did you see my client doing anything that could be construed as
disturbing the peace?" The sheriff's answer is even lower than the last one
"No." Betty Lee feels the tide turning and looks over at the other attorneys.
They are furiously writing down notes and looking through their notes. She then
continues "Was he making any menacing gestures or loud noises?" The sheriff once
again quietly says "No." She then asks "If my client did not do anything that
could be considered disturbing the peace, then how did you come up with this
charge?" The sheriff did not answer. He really does not have an answer for this.
Betty Lee knows he has him down and decides to break out her ace in the hole.
"You did arrest my client, correct?" she asks. The sheriff is not sure where
this questioning is going but he fears that he will find out very quickly.
"Yes." is all he says. She then asks "And if I am correct, you put a rope around
my client's neck and led him out of the library." The sheriff breathes a sigh of
relief. He thought she was going to bring up where his deputy pulled his gun on
the Clarence. "Yes, that is correct."
Betty Lee then turns around and faces the crowd again. "May I
ask you, did you read my client his rights? The Miranda rights?" Suddenly the
sheriff knows where she is going and he is upset. He did not think about this
until now. "No, but..." She quickly jumps in and asks "Do you not normally read
a suspect their rights?" He is really mad now. He knows she is trying to get
this case thrown out on a technicality. "Yes, but..." Once again she cuts him
off. "Then why did you not read my client his rights?" The other attorneys jump
up and yell out "Objection your honor." They know they really don't have one but
they want to stop the bleeding. The judge quickly responds "Overruled." The
sheriff waits for everyone to quit talking and then he says "I did not read him
his Miranda rights because he is an animal." Betty Lee smiles. She knew he would
say that. "So you are saying that because my client is not human, then he has no
rights?" The other attorneys jump up again "Objection your honor." And once
again he says "Overruled." Betty Lee is surprised how the judge has been during
this trial. She worried that he would toss out the Miranda Rights issue as
irrelevant. She was prepared for that. She decides to put the sheriff away. She
has him against the ropes and now it is time to end this. "May I ask you Mr.
Taylor, what is the difference between a human and an animal?" Once again the
prosecutors yell "Objection your honor." This time the judge turns to Betty Lee
and asks "What is the relevance of this questioning?" She turns to him and says
"Your honor, I am trying to establish what is difference between a human and a
lesser animal. I want to know where my client stands." The judge gives her a
dirty look and says "Objection overruled." She then asks once again "Mr. Taylor,
what is the difference between a human and an animal?" The sheriff is squirming
in his chair. He knows that he is painted in a corner. He tries to think of the
best way of answering this question. After a long and very tense minute, he
speaks up "Humans are intelligent and can reason and think logically. Animals
cannot." She smiles as she expected that answer. She then walks up to him and
asks "With that in mind, did you have an opportunity to speak with my client?"
She knows that he was expecting her to go for the throat, but she decided to
catch him off guard with this question. "Yes, I did." he says. "And did you find
that he was able to carry on a normal conversation or did he merely mimic you,
like a parrot?" He pauses for a moment as he knows where she is going but he was
not ready for this order of questioning. "Yes, he could carry on a normal
conversation." She smiles as she turns to the audience. "Would you not agree
that it takes an animal that can think logically to be able to have a
conversation?" He pauses again. He feels the heat of the moment and is trying to
not slip up. "Yes, but they can teach an ape sign language." She keeps her smile
as she turns back to him and asks "That is true, but apes also just mimic
language they have been taught. But my client can do much more than that. He can
carry on a full conversation that shows an ability to reason and think
logically, two criteria according to Mr. Taylor that separates man from the
animals." She then looks around at the court and says "No further questions."
She then goes and sits down next to Clarence. He smiles at her. He knows little
about court rooms and trials, but he is intelligent enough to know they are
winning.
Clarence the Cow ©
2007-2008 Tom Zjaba